January 25, 2011

If I could shatter this stubborn heart,
and amongst the rubble find one part
which could be given-up most easily,
and lived without for all eternity,
my hammer would not hesitate.

But I know amid the crumbled mess
would be found no single ounce worth less,
no gram I’d more lose than any other,
and so intact it remains, my lover,
to wholly be given again.



December 9, 2010

I saw you today
stomping your way
down the towpath,
looking like a 10-year old
in a hat and scarf
To keep out the cold.

And I saw you last night,
with the bar light
turning blue,
as we danced like lunatics
to a rock and roll tune
from nineteen fifty six.

And then this morning,
as you were yawning
at the news,
I shuffled up close
and tried to kiss you
gently on the nose.

And you pulled away,
making a face
all wrinkled,
as I said ‘I love you’;
and you said I was mental
but you loved me too.

And love you I do:
When you’re blue;
or mental;
dancing or stomping.
I love it all,
I love everything.


November 19, 2010

I look at her and I see…I just…see everything. All of it. I hear every moment of the most fleeting conversation; I feel the faintest pressure from the lightest of touches; and I see a past that I’m sure once was, but which I know never existed. I see every strand of hair falling in and out of place. I see her teeth, and I see the tiny bit of food stuck in her teeth. I see her hands, which she tells me are not model’s hands, but all I see are beautiful, perfect, untouchable hands; hands that I wish would just reach out for me. I see her legs, which I’d hoped to see – because I think she has beautiful legs – but which she usually keeps covered. And I see her stroke them absent-mindedly, and I see that my mind is missing too, for all I can see now is her face, and I can see what she’s thinking but not what she’s saying and all I am really aware of is a desire; a desire to tear her carefully, ever-so carefully, from this world and paste her into a scrap-book land, where everything combines in a perfect collage, madness as it truly should be. A land where I see her every day, and see her smile and keep it just for me, and see her never grow old and see the photographs we’ve not taken and all the places we’re going and the lights and the stars and the whole world aligned for us and us alone. Alone. Alone is the one thing we are not. Tonight we are not alone. For he is here. And my gaze is paralysed. And the memories I had imagined become dry and slip from between the pages, lost.

Still A Heart (Song)

April 18, 2010

A sinking ship is still a ship
Though its lost its way on its first trip
And slowly sinking down beneath the wild waves
For each man that’s lost, there’s one who’s saved.

And a broken heart is still a heart
Though it be tattered and torn apart
And its pieces scattered in the wild and howling wind
They can all be recovered in the end

And the last goodbye isn’t always the last goodbye
Though it can seem so at the time
And sometimes ‘No’ can seem as sweet as the first hello
And what is real is hard to know

Oh my heart still feels like my heart
Though once it was battered and blown apart
Cos someone came and she made it beat again
She put it back together just the same

Cos a broken heart is still a heart
Though its been tattered and torn apart
And its pieces scattered in the wild and howling wind
They can all be recovered in the end
They can all be recovered in the end

He met her by the arches
Down near where the church is
Where the songbird perches high
On the telephone wire

And as he took her hand and walked her
On down to the water side
He’d never felt so uncertain
About what was on his mind

And as they walked on into the city
She never looked so damn pretty
But she somehow wasn’t the same lady
He thought he used to know

But when they sat together by the river
And the sundown set her all a shiver
He wrapped his coat around her tight
And that seemed to set things right

For in that warming moment
He felt a future full of hopes and dreams
And the closeness got him forgetting
All the times in between

Then she stood up and walked away
He caught her up, only to hear her say
I don’t think it can ever work this way
I’m sorry

There didn’t seem much point in talking
So they just held hands and kept on walking
Looking all around, looking at the parking signs
Trying so hard to keep from crying

And they walked on back to the arches
Where the song bird still perches high
And they kissed once more and parted
Forever, and for the final time.


March 3, 2010

Here is the smell of wines
And the vineyards in the south
Where the grapes of lust
Grow in the countryside sun
Fresh and ripened
By its warming light.
Like your eyes warm my heart
And start a fire
Somewhere inside me
That I’ve tried so hard to hide
For fear of failing
Or straining the silver thread
By which I have clung
For so long
To the moments
Which make up our time.
Moments unnoticed by other eyes
But moments that mean so much
And which have filled up
The empty days and nights
And have soothed and calmed
The itchy bite of the past
And sung me at last to a rest
Which I dare not upset
And so I weather the storm
And call you friend forever more.

Until You Smile (A Song)

February 14, 2010

A song I bashed out tonight. I’ve been reading this book called Guitar Man, about one thirtysomething’s quest to learn the guitar. One of the tips he got was to just try things out, so in that spirit i’ve attempted a rough bass/melody picking style, as opposed to just strumming. And this is the result. I’m quite pleased with it.